Computers in Restaurants: Growing Trend

A new trend in family dining is to offer kids personal computers and devices so they can play games while they wait for their food. Mellow Mushroom and Buffalo Wild Wings are a few of the restaurants that offer this in my part of the country. And we should expect more restaurants to follow suit. According to a recent survey by the National Restaurant Association, professional chefs "expect smartphone apps and tablet computers to make further inroads at restaurants" in 2012.

I'm not sure that I love this idea, at least when families are concerned. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think its rude to use a cell phone when sharing a table with someone else - in a restaurant or at home. Playing computer games at the table is no different. Going out to eat as a family can be a chance to talk, to connect, and that can be beneficial for parents and kids alike.

I'm also not judging. Back in our Baby Einstein days, I plopped our active toddler in a restaurant high chair with a portable DVD player to get a few minutes to rest and eat. Parenting decisions are sometimes based on the circumstances of the moment, not always fundamental rules that you stand by at all times. Dining out with kids is not always a pleasant experience, and distracting kids with a computer game may help mitigate a public outburst or give a parent a few minutes of peace.

However, a chance to feel a little boredom or learn a little patience can also be a positive lesson for kids. It may take some effort to get started, but talking to each other can be rewarding, enlightening, and might be just what the family needs.

* By the way, another menu trend noted by the National Restaurant Association survey is that chefs expect growth in "children's nutrition as a culinary theme" and "more whole grain items in kids' meals." Good stuff!

Wikipedia Warning

Do your kids use the popular Wikipedia.org for school research projects? Parents should be advised that although the online encyclopedia is full of helpful information, it is not necessarily a safe site.

According to Foxnews.com, Wikipedia's image repository, Wikimedia Commons, is "littered" with pornographic images. These images can display even after searching relatively benign subjects. Although pornography and other graphic images are less common on the Wikipedia site, they are still easy to find.

"Dr. Marcella Wilson, a computer consultant, explained to FoxNews.com that the explicit content exists on Wikipedia because it is an open forum with user-generated content. She says legal pressure may be the only way to protect kids, since Wikipedia is funded by user and corporate donations."

These corporate donors include big names like Google, Microsoft and Facebook. In addition to legal pressure, Wikipedia could voluntarily apply a filter to its content, suggests a source in the article.

One reader of the article, reportedly an associate professor of industrial engineering at the University of Portugal, comments:

"The situation you reported on … is far from over. I'll dare say that it is getting worse by the day... Right now, Wikimedia Foundation projects like Wikipedia should be on the ‘blocked for children’ list in every household and school.”

This story underlines an important message to parents: be aware of what your children are doing online. Changes at Wikipedia cannot come too soon.

Khan Academy: Free Tutorial Videos

Here is a cool site that has the world talking about a revolution in our educational systems: Khan Academy.

I was just introduced to the site through a segment on CBS's 60 Minutes news program. Founded by Sal Khan, the non-profit organization offers a "free online tutoring site...with its educational how-to videos." The vision of the program, supported by big names like Bill Gates and Google, is to go global with free education.

I haven't tried Khan Academy yet, but I'm definitely interested. My daughter is starting to struggle with new math concepts, and rather than rely on my memory of how it was taught to me in elementary school, I have a tool to help her.
This concept could be liberating for children that don't have access to quality education, or that need additional help. If you're interested in the future of our educational system, this is a worthwhile segment to watch.

Parent Pledge: Talk About Internet Safety

Parenting wired kids can be difficult, especially if you didn't grow up with the same technologies. These resources can help.

That is a statement from NetSmartz.org, a program developed by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and sponsored by Walmart, Microsoft and a host of other big names.

I learned about NetSmartz from my children's elementary school computer teacher. She taught Internet safety lessons in her classroom last fall using the program. My girls loved the lessons, and told me about the funny cartoon characters featured in the safety videos when they got home from school. I hope through these lessons some seeds of Internet safety and responsibility were planted, and I hope the lessons will continue at school.

The program is not just for teachers, however. A parent can use the resources on the NetSmartz site and even request a kit to be mailed to your home.

So here is another parent pledge. Let's commit to talking to our kids about Internet safety and digital citizenship. We can teach through the NetSmartz lessons or from our own experiences. As parents, we've been encouraged to talk to our kids about the dangers of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes while our children are young; teaching about online safety issues should be added to the list.

Parent Pledge #2: I will talk to my kids about Internet safety.

Government Resources on Distracted Driving

As a follow-up to last week's post about texting and driving, I wanted to share some stats on the subject. Time Magazine (March 12, 2012) recently published a two-page article analyzing traffic deaths in the U.S.

While traffic deaths are down overall, perhaps due to improved safety features in new cars, the concern is that distracted driving could cause the numbers to rise again. Sixteen percent of all fatal crashes involves a distracted driver. According to the magazine, nine states and the District of Columbia have banned using hand-held phones while driving, and 25 states have passed laws banning texting while driving.

Sources for Time's article include the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the Center for Disease Control.

The US government has even developed a site devoted entirely to distracted driving. On the site is a pledge for parents to commit to phone-free driving. Is your state one that has laws against phone use or texting while driving? Check out the web site learn about state distracted driving laws.

Parent Pledge: Don't Text and Drive

I'm beginning to realize that there will never be a shortage of content for this blog.

Take yesterday's heartbreaking story on the Today Show. A teenager tragically loses her life due to texting and driving. Now her parents are lobbying for laws that ban the practice. Texting laws may be hard to swallow, but the parents of Taylor Sauer may have a good point:

"We all fought against seat belts, (but) now, everybody wears seat belts. The kids will be trained and learn from a young age that they can't text and drive."

Whether its talking on the phone or texting, I think most of us can agree that phone usage while driving can be dangerous for an experienced driver, let alone an inexperienced one. A children's education expert and scholar at my church encourages parents to consider their own practices. During her classes for parents, she asks for a show of hands. "Who would advise their children to use the phone while driving?" Of course, no parent raises his or her hand. "Then you as parents shouldn't use the phone in the car," she pleads. "Your kids are watching everything you do, and they will follow in your footsteps."

I heard her message several months ago and took her advice to heart. I decided to stop using my phone in the car when the kids are riding with me. It is easier to do than I expected, although I'm still working on decreasing my phone use when I'm in the car alone.

Consider this parent pledge: stop using your phone while driving, at very least when your children are in the car with you. Let the calls roll to voicemail or the texts go unanswered for a few minutes until the car is in park. Talk to your kids about the issue. And consider restricting your teenager's texting behind the wheel if he or she is of driving age. It could save you a lot of heartache in the future.

Internet Safety Starts With Parents, Teachers

One main goal for this blog is to encourage parents and educators to incorporate lessons on Internet safety and digital citizenship. Ideally this should happen when children are first exposed to the technology that will eventually become part of their everyday lives. From doing research for school projects to social networking with friends, it is important to take an active involvement in what your kids are doing online.

An acquaintance of mine wrote a book on Internet safety in 2006, Click Click, Who’s Really There? When I was introduced to the book, my girls were yet babies and when I didn’t think much about the issue. Now I’m very interested in the subject, and I’ve been recently reminded of one of the description phrases used to describe her book: 

At a click of a mouse, your child has access to the world. At a click of a mouse, the world has access to your child.

As parents, we can directly teach Internet safety to our children, and we can also encourage our kids’ teachers and school administrators to help. There are several free online resources – including videos, downloads, workshops and presentations – for parents and teachers, including the ones listed below. Please check them out. Find out if there are programs in place to teach Internet safety in your school. If there are none, please make an effort to get a program started. Let’s make it a mission to actively protect our kids. 

• Cybersmart
• ePals
• No Bully
• Common Sense Media

Pretty or Ugly? Tweens Are Asking the World

An article by Leanne Italie with the Associated Press and printed in the Charlotte Observer this morning highlights a growing trend among girls as young as 11: posting a video on YouTube of themselves, asking "Am I pretty or ugly?"

One girl's video, first posted in December 2010, has four million plus views "and more than 107,000 anonymous, often hateful responses." Responses to this and other such videos include those soliciting sex, calling the kids "attention whores," calling them "fugly" and ugly, and wondering where their parents are. Some comments did offer support, ask them to take the videos down, and encourage them to "feel good about themselves."

Experts weighed in, and I found their comments insightful and thought-provoking for parents:

Negative feedback that is personal is rarely easy to hear at any age, but to tweens and teens who value as well as incorporate feedback into their own sense of worth, it can be devastating.

Elizabeth Dowdell, professor at Villanova University, researcher of Internet safety and risk behavior in adolescents in partnership with the Justice Department

These videos could be read as a new form of self-mutilation in line with cutting and eating disorders.

Emilie Azalow, media studies professor at Pace University in New York

There's this constant messaging about looks and beauty. Their world is taking it to a new level. It can be humiliating, there may be a lot of shame, and you start to become public objects instead of being your own person.

Nadine Kaslow, family psychologist and professor of behavioral sciences at Emory University

There is a lot of online talk about this trend (just search "Pretty or Ugly You Tube"). More commentary can be found at the Huffington Post, including more conversation related to young girls and body image.

Parents today face new challenges, and knowledge of trends, like these YouTube videos, and potential consequences can help as we make decisions that guide our children's use of the Internet.

No Escape: Does Wired World Feed School Violence?

We are all reeling from the news of the school shooting in Ohio by an alleged bullying victim. And news of another unfortunate tragedy in California made recent headlines: two fifth grade girls get into a fist fight over a boy at their after school program. One girl loses her life.

The national news story by the Associated Press and run in several publications today, detail the sad events that lead to the girl's death, presumably by a fatal blow to the head.

A statement by a "national expert on bullying and school violence" at the end of the article caught my attention:

Fights involving young children, including girls, are increasing nationally, in part because of the wired world children now live in, said Travis Brown, a national expert on bullying and school violence.

Children used to have a disagreement at school and would have a night or a weekend to cool down, but social media and text messaging mean students can continue their dispute 24 hours a day, he said.

Social media sites also allow other students to weigh in and amplify the pressure to settle things in a public way, said Brown, who runs the website www.nobullytour.com.

"There was a time when a kid had a way to escape the things at school, but now there's no escape," he said. "That stuff just escalates to a point where it gets out of hand. This is an everyday occurrence."

One parent, whose daughter witnessed the fight, also said something important: "We've just got to pay more attention to our kids too, not just [when] dropping them off at the school."

Adolescence is such a difficult time for kids, especially girls. When I was growing up in the 80s, it wasn't labeled bullying. But that's exactly what it was. The hard times that I experienced as a preteen and teenager deeply affected who I am today, and perhaps that is why I'm already worried about my girls' welfare, even though they are still in early elementary school. Life for young girls just seems to be getting tougher.

What are we parents to do? Pay more attention. Support and protect our children. Stand up for them and parent our kids through this tough age the best we can.

One place to start is a cyberbullying tool kit by Common Sense Media designed for parents, educators, kids, teens and school administrators. Bullying and violence prevention is a topic dear to my heart, and unfortunately it doesn't seem like a problem that will be going away very soon.

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/02/27/3051033/questions-surround-ca-girl-who.html#storylink=cpy

 

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/02/27/3051033/questions-surround-ca-girl-who.html#storylink=cpy

Bring Your Own Technology - to School

Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools (CMS) in North Carolina will offer wireless Internet access in all schools starting this August.The district, which includes over 141,000 students and 159 schools, is joining a national trend called BYOT (Bring Your Own Technology), according to the Charlotte Observer.

According to school leaders, it's the system's "best hope for getting some 140,000 students up to speed on digital learning." Rather than focusing efforts only on buying laptops for students and Smartboards for the classroom, the move will also support the use of personal digital devices that they bring into the school. Devices include tablets, e-readers and smart phones, something that the system can't afford for everyone.

The district is using federal and state funds to pay for the wireless system, and they have requested an additional $1.3 million from the county to hire a technology facilitator for 23 high schools. Additionally, $1.2 million was spent to equip school administrators with iPads and TeachScape apps, a classroom observation software.

These changes are significant. Citing a desire to move into the "real world," school officials and teachers have their work cut out for them. As the article says, "A BYOT environment poses plenty of challenges, from preventing theft and damage to making sure students use their devices for learning, not for playing Angry Birds or cheating on exams."

We as parents have to be as involved as possible in this process, teaching our children at young ages to be responsible digital citizens. I certainly hope that the school system is investing in programs that do that as well.

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/01/29/2967987/internet-access-in-cms-to-change.html#storylink=misearch#storylink=cpy

Tykoon: Startup Will Teach Family Money Management

I just learned about an upcoming technology tool for parents to help their kids learn about finances. Today the Charlotte Business Journal published an article about Tykoon, an Internet startup founded in Charlotte and currently located in New York. The full-length article is only accessible to Journal subscribers, so here's a summary.

Tykoon is in a beta testing phase, and the company will publicly launch in six weeks. Participating families can manage allowances, learn about basic budgeting, and experience "real-life saving and spending activity." Kids will have the option to donate a portion of their earnings to participating charities, such as the National Wildlife Foundation and Habitat for Humanity. Tykoon even has Amazon.com as a retail partner, which will be a platform through which kids can buy products online. Participating banks are also expected to partner with Tykoon.

The founders of the startup, LendingTree founder Doug Lebda and former Bank of America executive Mark Bruinooge, were inspired to start Tykoon through their efforts to teach their own children about responsible money management.

Financial education is of vital importance for kids. Tykoon could be a wonderful tool for parents, and I look forward to seeing it launch.

Confession

I have a confession. When my firstborn was an infant, I parked her in a bouncy seat in front of the TV for 30 minutes a day so I could make dinner.

She was a clingy baby and enjoyed being held. In fact, there was rarely a time when she was happy without being held. I was fairly young, in love with my new baby, and had the energy to accommodate. Yet when 5 o’clock came around, the TV went on, my baby got quiet, and my aching back enjoyed the break.

The programs I chose were always from the Baby Einstein DVD series. I had gotten them for my baby shower. The popular consensus in those days, not so very long ago, was that Baby Einstein videos were helpful. They stimulated your baby’s brain. They helped her learn to appreciate music, patterns, and art.

By the time my second child came along, the Baby Einstein craze was coming to a close. Or maybe I was becoming wiser. Oh, I still used the TV to keep my toddler safe and close to me while I fed my hungry newborn, which can be a seemingly endless task. But I began to seriously consider the potential negative impact that the tube could have on my kids.

My girls are now both in elementary school, and I still think about it. I’ve done some research. Did you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend any television time for children under the age of two? Did you know that a nearly 30% of babies and 44% of preschoolers have a television in their own bedroom? (See Common Sense Media's report on children's use of media in America.)

The purpose of this blog is to help me write my way through parenting two girls during a time when all kinds of media – smart phones, iPads, flat screen TVs – are more than commonplace in our homes and schools. I think that some media can be harmful, especially if it is age inappropriate or used too frequently. Some can be helpful; I know that my phone does wonders to keep me organized and although I don’t have an iPad yet, I know that lots of schools are using educational apps in the classroom.

The bottom line is that I want my girls to grow up with a healthy understanding of technology, finding a balance so that it enriches - but doesn't rule - their lives. And as a parent, I want to set a good example, to put down my smart phone, turn off the TV, and talk to my kids while there is still time.